Archives

All posts for the month February, 2012

Nobody ever talks about all the good things Hitler did.

Posted by David DeMar on February 29, 2012
Posted in: I Don't Want to Live On This Planet Anymore. Tagged: , , , , , . 10 comments
Am I drunk?

Am I drunk?

Have any of you seen the latest trend coming out of the Asia-Pacific region?  For once it doesn’t have anything to do with watching professional Starcraft 2 competitions – instead it’s about a new fashion movement known as Hitler Chic being adopted by the younger generations in places like Bangkok.

Ich bein ein panda!

Ich bein ein panda!

I wish I was making this up, but it’s becoming really widespread over there.  That article I just linked talks about how people in Thailand are going around wearing shirts depicting adorable little Adolf Hitlers dressed in things like panda suits.  This is both deeply, profoundly disturbing on a multitude of levels while simultaneously being the funniest shit I’ve ever fucking seen.

Continue Reading

About these ads

Communism is just a red herring.

Posted by David DeMar on February 28, 2012
Posted in: Never Go Full Retard, Pet Peeves. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 8 comments
Or was it one plus two plus two plus one?

One plus two plus one plus one....

Do you have certain things that just set your teeth on edge whenever you encounter them?  Some people cringe when they someone says “for all intensive purposes.”  Others start twitching if they hear nails on a chalkboard, or can’t help but gag if the smell of tuna salad assaults their noses; there’s any number of things that make you want to immediately start ripping the doors of parked cars and throwing them at people like you’re some low-rent Captain America. Continue Reading

Happy anniversary to me!

Posted by David DeMar on February 27, 2012
Posted in: Amateur Professional, Writing. Tagged: , , , , , , , . 5 comments
My biggest fan.

I can't find the "Any" key!

Today marks the beginning of my fifth week posting as the Amateur Professional.  In that time I’ve made 32 posts counting this one, and as of this posting, this blog has generated 970 views.

This leads me to pose the question to you people: who the hell set up their dipping bird on their keyboard?

Continue Reading

Updates for the Month of February

Posted by David DeMar on February 26, 2012
Posted in: Amateur Professional. Leave a Comment

Reblogged from Twit Publishing:

We're currently looking for submissions for PULP! Summer/Fall 2012.

We're also doing two weeks of "deals" on the PULP! books. We're running down those 5 days of free books through Amazon before we go out of Select. We'll see how it goes.

Also, we have "Blowing off Some Steam" for free. You can read it right here, if you really want:

Read more… 80 more words

Hey, guys! A little note for anyone with the writing bug: Twit Publishing is accepting submissions for its next anthology! Check it out if you're interested.

If this movie sucks I’m moving to Barsoom.

Posted by David DeMar on February 25, 2012
Posted in: John Carter, Movies. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 6 comments

It’s come to my attention that a whole shit-ton of people don’t know what the fuck is going on with this new John Carter movie coming out on March 9th.  Well, call me the bus driver, because I’m about to take you to school. Continue Reading

… Anne Frankly I don’t find it very funny.

Posted by David DeMar on February 24, 2012
Posted in: I Offend Everyone. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments
Today you are a man.

Mazel Tov!

Last night I caught the Colbert Report for the first time in a long time.  Thanks to my impeccable timing, I tuned in just in time to watch Stephen Colbert perform a proxy cicrumcision on dead members of the Church of Latter Day Saints by snipping the tip off an uncooked hot dog with a cigar cutter.  He then popped the tip into his mouth.  I can only hope that it was kosher. Continue Reading

Who’s the BOSS?

Posted by David DeMar on February 23, 2012
Posted in: Twit Publishing, Writing. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 2 comments
BOSS. Get it? I made a funny.

Apparently Tony Danza isn't in charge any more.

Holy crap.  Not only is my publisher’s latest anthology out, but they’re promoting “Blowing Off Some Steam” (or BOSS, if you prefer acronyms), the short story I have in it, as a stand-alone product, with its own cover and everything.

I have my own fucking cover.

Don’t get all excited, that asshole that lives in the back of my head just told me.  It’s just an e-book.

Hey, screw you, man, I’m on amazon.com.

Big deal.  You’re also on Smashwords.  For free.  Nobody’s going to spend money on you.  Plus, who’s gonna pay $0.99 on ONE short story when they can buy the entire anthology for the same amount?  Also, you’re getting grey hairs.

You know what, screw you, Asshole in the Back of my Head.  This is why we can’t have nice things.

Continue Reading

Writers make the worst audiences.

Posted by David DeMar on February 22, 2012
Posted in: Writing. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 7 comments
The Author in his native habitat.

The Author in his native habitat.

Since my day job as a freelance copywriter has me working from home, I have the distinct pleasure of setting my own schedule.  I work whenever and wherever I want to work, though after one of the cats sat on the laptop and cracked the screen I now do the lion’s share of my work from home either with my headphones on and listening to Pandora or with the television on in the background to act as background noise.  As a result, I get to watch a lot of television – particularly police procedural shows, considering how they’ve been running for so long and they’re almost always being aired on some channel or another at any given time. Continue Reading

The Cowardly Lion had it right: I do believe in spooks.

Posted by David DeMar on February 21, 2012
Posted in: Grant Wilson, TAPS/Ghost Hunters. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . 7 comments
Remember me?

Remember me?

I was watching the latest episode of Being Human last night – one of those nice Monday evening rituals my fiancée and I have – when I was struck by something during a commercial break.  No, not how much better the original BBC version is over the Syfy remake, and no I don’t want to hear any arguments about it one way or the other (I’ve watched the British iteration of the show, and I still like the American one better); I saw a commercial for Ghost Hunters, which has been running since 2004 on Syfy, back when it was still just known as the Sci-Fi Channel.

Continue Reading