Oh god oh fuck what the hell is going on help me
Last night, I was convinced that if I stepped outside my house something terrible would happen to me. Now, this isn’t terribly odd in and of itself – I usually feel that way whenever the rent is due after all, even when though I make more than enough money to keep a roof over my head – but yesterday was different.
Well, I finally did it – I broke down and created an “Official” Facebook page for my “professional” life, which includes both this blog and my published fiction. I decided it was time to separate the two. This gives everyone an opportunity to avoid my asinine, foul-mouthed ramblings by simply not clicking that stupid “Like” button on the new page.
Of course, it will be a devastating blow to my ego if nobody likes it. So here I am, begging you to help me avoid trying to disembowel myself with a tuning fork in a fit of depression. Click that stupid “Like” button and I’ll love you long time.
The wife and I are going to be house sitting for a couple of days this week, so don’t worry if the blog posts are few and far between. We’ll be busy drinking all their booze.
Okay, well I’ll be busy drinking all their booze. Such is the price one must pay – I’m drinking for two, after all.
A year ago today I wrote my first blog post here. 356 posts and 34,746 page views later, I’m still here – and many of you have been with me for the entire ride.
Thank you for not only consistently reading my bullshit but for coming back for more nearly every day for an entire calendar year. I can’t promise the next 12 months will be nearly as entertaining as the last 12, but you’ve got my solemn promise to do my best to keep you entertained!
It’s been way too heavy around here lately. Now while I’m not discounting the importance of current events in any way shape or form, there’s little I can do about it from my corner of the internet besides tell everyone to keep calm and use your heads, so I’ve decided to lighten things up here with a little good old-fashioned bread and circuses video game blog post.
Different art style.
Now, don’t get all excited – yeah, I changed my blog design, but you’re in for another 12 months of stupidity uninterrupted save for the odd shameless plug. Speaking of such, if you look carefully on the header you’ll notice I took a page from my friend and colleague Vaughn R. Demont’s site (you have looked him up, haven’t you?) and put up a handy-dandy guide to where you can find my published short stories.
This means people like my brother can’t keep asking me “hey where can I get your stuff?” And when I say “e-reader” I don’t mean go out and buy a Nook or a Kindle, you mutton head.
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 34,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 8 Film Festivals.
You should totally check out the complete report here. It’s got awesome statistics. And vaginas.
Happy New Year, everyone! See you in 2013 – here’s for another year of offensive stupidity!
Take it easy today. See you folks Monday, bright and early. Hope you all have fun today!
On a scale from 0 to 10, with 0 being hanging yourself in the bathroom and 10 being deliriously happy, these two ferrets are rocking an 11.
Shit nigga, we happy as a mother fucker!
Real content to return this Monday! In the meantime, enjoy the swag.
Ladies and gentlemen, there’s nothing to see here at the moment. However, this may change later today – actually it’s almost guaranteed to change later today. For now, sit tight and exhibit some patience. Good things come to those who wait, after all.
